she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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