It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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