There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize