The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
