1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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