Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
