I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
