My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize