I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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