week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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