yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
