You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
