a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
where are my eyebrows?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
