The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
