If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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