U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
ttyl tear gas
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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