I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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