So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
