I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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