don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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