Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  You're so nebulous sometimes

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  (586): You're so nebulous sometimes http://tfl.nu/wa9d
  Replies (6) Good night (1070) Bad night (579)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?

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  (813): you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you? http://tfl.nu/35zi
  Replies (12) Good night (2934) Bad night (1024)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar

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  (703): I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar http://tfl.nu/9wq5
  Replies (4) Good night (3155) Bad night (606)
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  (909): View more from California

  dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.

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  (909): dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting. http://tfl.nu/kj58
  Replies (11) Good night (683) Bad night (3536)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.

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  (480): Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that. http://tfl.nu/wbxh
  Replies (13) Good night (4708) Bad night (1040)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.

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  (202): the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other. http://tfl.nu/vc7e
  Replies (25) Good night (5145) Bad night (2336)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.

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  (508): He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me. http://tfl.nu/9xpz
  Replies (21) Good night (1002) Bad night (3045)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...

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  (702): He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried... http://tfl.nu/88kq
  Replies (5) Good night (960) Bad night (2556)
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  (+04): View more from

  She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.

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  (+04): She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf. http://tfl.nu/hr1t
  Replies (7) Good night (1193) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.

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  (480): You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home. (602): Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul. http://tfl.nu/qvbw
  Replies (10) Good night (2770) Bad night (765)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.

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  (954): well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success. http://tfl.nu/hp4n
  Replies (5) Good night (2303) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  You rang?

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.

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  (707): You rang? (405): Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone. http://tfl.nu/xnwm
  Replies (15) Good night (2398) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.

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  (832): I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship. http://tfl.nu/02yh
  Replies (3) Good night (1428) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.

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  (540): I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish. http://tfl.nu/1i5o
  Replies (8) Good night (1135) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm just crazy horny about you

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  (215): I'm just crazy horny about you http://tfl.nu/n9zt
  Replies (11) Good night (1819) Bad night (413)

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