Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex

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  (314): he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex http://tfl.nu/lecw
  Replies (62) Good night (2122) Bad night (13290)
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  (818): View more from California

  I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...

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  (818): I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number... http://tfl.nu/xqo8
  Replies (22) Good night (2987) Bad night (797)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night

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  (917): you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night http://tfl.nu/accx
  Replies (8) Good night (1153) Bad night (6608)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.

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  (717): He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping. http://tfl.nu/p29z
  Replies (27) Good night (1189) Bad night (4514)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.

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  (508): He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/n1jt
  Replies (2) Good night (3656) Bad night (1051)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.

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  (215): I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day. http://tfl.nu/v175
  Replies (10) Good night (4100) Bad night (732)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay

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  (647): Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay http://tfl.nu/st3m
  Replies (5) Good night (2895) Bad night (770)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest

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  (732): I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest http://tfl.nu/b35x
  Replies (20) Good night (5324) Bad night (1938)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina

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  (636): she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina http://tfl.nu/0ynp
  Replies (23) Good night (7259) Bad night (889)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.

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  (708): You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit. http://tfl.nu/hyfu
  Replies (2) Good night (1754) Bad night (1363)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.

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  (253): they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest. http://tfl.nu/yx0q
  Replies (21) Good night (3757) Bad night (656)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.

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  (508): He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is. http://tfl.nu/qf8i
  Replies (8) Good night (782) Bad night (1477)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.

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  (847): Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans. http://tfl.nu/m2u5
  Replies (10) Good night (742) Bad night (898)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma

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  (919): Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma http://tfl.nu/tsev
  Replies (1) Good night (789) Bad night (193)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.

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  (908): 4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden. http://tfl.nu/r37f
  Replies (3) Good night (470) Bad night (134)

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