i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear