I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Come see our sink grown plant.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
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