im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Please, let me fuck your mom
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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