Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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