White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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