IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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