so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
