she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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