I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
