Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
