New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
