my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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