dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It's never too late to be topless.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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