How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Randomize
