Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
