You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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