Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
