I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
