Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
