Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Floor bacon is actually really good
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize