Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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