you guys were way drunker than both of me
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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