Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
