Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
