OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
