Whod you bang
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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