I think scott just propositioned me for sex
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize