I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
