thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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