you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Alive.
So much puke
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
