dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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