The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
