yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
