Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
