Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
