I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
