I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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