just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
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I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
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On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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