Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
