i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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