Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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