four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
