Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
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I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
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Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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